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This page contains puzzles, jokes anything that is FUN or just plain amusing and annoying (such as brain teasers).
Puzzles
OK here you go a brain teaser that a mate of mine asked me to try and solve and I could'nt until a pint was offered in which case I thought long and hard and managed to solve it. So here you go:
There are two students (one male and one female), a bottle of whisky and a lecturer. The lecturer has to get the two students and the bottle of whisky into a lecture (well he can't leave the whisky behind that would be a waste!!!), but the lecturer can only take them into the lecture one at a time (the reason is irrelevant OK!!!). Easy you say ah well here is the tricky part, there are certian conditions that have to be stated which are:-
If the lecturer leaves the the male student with the bottle of whisky, he will drink it and therefore miss the lecture.
If the lecturer leaves the female student with the male student, she will seduce him and therefore they will miss the lecture.
As long as the lecturer is present then none of these above can happen. you have to get all three into the lecture remember, OK now solve it then!!!
Jokes and Anecdotes
This story allegedly happened late one night during bad weather. As heard over the tower radio:
Helicopter Pilot: "Roger, I'm holding at 3000 over such-and-such beacon".
Second voice: "NO! You can't be doing that! I'm holding at 3000 over that beacon!"
brief pause, then first voice again: "You idiot, you're my co-pilot."
The Fugitive Rabbit
Newsflash: Energizer Bunny arrested - charged with battery.
The LAPD, the FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and has each of them try to catch it. The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist. Then the FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming. Then the LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten raccoon. The raccoon is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
The three Bears
It's a sunny morning in the Big Forest and the Bear family are just waking up. Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the table. He looks into his small bowl and it's empty! "Who's been eating my porridge?" he squeaks. Daddy Bear arrives at the table and sits in his big chair. He looks into his big bowl and it is also >empty! "Who's been eating my porridge!?" he roars. Mommy Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the kitchen and screams, "Jesus Christ, how many times do we have to go through this? I haven't made the damn porridge yet!"
There is a lesson to be learnt from this below:
At a Christmas party in Melbourne last year the staff decided to pull a joke on their boss who had a habit of playing serious practical jokes on everyone else. When he went to the toilet they went through his wallet and found his Tatts Lotto ticket. Then they wrote down his numbers and called over the waitress to set up a little prank. She came back half an hour later and asked if anyone wanted to know the night's Lotto numbers, then proceeded to read them out (you can guess that he had picked the lot - including the supplementary!), and left the numbers on the table. The boss looked at the numbers, then casually pulled out his wallet and compared them. He became really silent, put his wallet back in his jacket and sat down again breathing really rapidly, and looking totally blown away. After a couple of minutes he pulled out his wallet and Lotto ticket, and checked the numbers again very carefully. Then he sculled his drink, stood up on his chair and shouted out to the whole room,
"I just want to let you all know something. I've been having an affair with my secretary for months. I don't like any of you, and I have hated working for this company.
You can all go to Hell, 'cos I've just won a shit-load of money, and I'm leaving...!"
End of job. End of marriage. End of story.
Three Little Pigs
A father likes to read his two young sons fairy tales at night. Having a deep-rooted sense of humor, he often ad-libs parts of the stories for fun. One day his youngest son was sitting in his first grade class as the teacher was reading the story of the 'Three Little Pigs.' She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to acquire building materials for his home.
She said, "...And so the pig went up to the man with a wheelbarrow full of straw and said, "Pardon me sir, but might I have some of that straw to build my house with?"
Then the teacher asked the class "And what do you think that man said?"
My friend's son raised his hand and said, "I know! I know! He said, 'Holy Shit!! A talking pig!'"
The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.
The Chicken and the Egg
A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette, with a satisfied smile on its face. The egg, looking a bit frustrated, grabs the sheet, rolls over, and says "Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question!"
