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In any situation you must follow these steps;
In a relationship
Let say you're in a relationship with a really nice guy, the nicest
in months! Your into your
fourth week together and things are going quite smoothly. Your proud
to say, and talk about
your guy to everyone. You tell them how honest and reliable he is.
How you can trust him and know hetrusts you. But you start to have second
thoughts when you're looking for him and you find him downthe hall, kissing
blue eyes blondy!
Ah!! You feel angry, ferocious! To have spread a good rumor about this guy! To actually have faith in a guy who goes behind your back! You want to lash out at this guy's throat! To think he could do this to you!
You! Of all people. You thought he was a wonderful, caring, sensitive
guy, not a wolf in a
sheep's pasture. You burst out crying, that's all you can do at this
point.
There are multiple ways to calm yourself down, but lashing out and strangling
the cause of
your anger isn't one of them. In this particular situation it requires
a lot of patience to remember to
perform these 4 techniques before doing something drastic.
The first, and probably the easiest and most important step is to breath
deeply, it is important
because while you're breathing you're also taking a few extra moments
to think about it and find the
best approach to the situation, which will get you better results.
Also by breathing deeply, it
gives you time to think of the other 3 "calm downs". The second step
to consider, if you can't think of anypositive thought, count backwards
slowly, giving you a little more time to gather your thoughts. If youstill
need extra time to clear all the nasty thoughts, after taking a few deep
breaths and counting
backwards, think of a place which you find relaxing, think of every
small detail which surrounds you while you're there (in that place). The
last strategy is to talk to yourself, you may look or feel a littlegoofy,
but this is for your benefit. Try to think of ways to approach the problem,
in this case it will most-likelybe the first words you plan on using when
you're guy-friend notices you.
If you use these techniques, you will find yourself to be more caring
and you won't make the
wrong decisions.
When you think out loud you must think of a situation or
place which calms you down so you can solve the problem.
Here aer somethoughts which could be going through your
head. First you would probably say to yourself how could I
trust him now? I thouhgt that I could trust him, and more so
I
thought I could trust her, she was supposesdly my best friend.
That back stabber, both of them. It makes me mad and angry,
there's no honest people left in this world. What am I to do
now? I can't show him I asw them or my pain, that would make
me volnerable. I still can't believe it, it was just last night
that he was telling me how much he loved me. I'm so gulable.
I can't believe I fell for it, how could I belieive that lier, and
that "friend" of mine???? I guess I need some help, who can I
turn to?
Later, look back on the problem
I saw my trusting boyfriend kissing that other girl down the hall.I
ran over to him and smacked him ,yelling and asking why he could of
kissed that other girl.
He found out, very clearly, that I was very mad and was going to dump
him. It didn't work how I humiliated myself and didn't ask questions,
I just let out my emotions. I know he'll never be my friend and
yelling, and not really understanding the situation.I blew up.
If I could of done this whole situation over again,I would of
maybe
asked how come he betrayed me and cheated on me .
I think I got the job done bye yelling my emotions out strong, so he
knew that he was wrong.
