123456789112345678921234567893123456789412345678951234567896123456789712345678 The sun slowly rose above the canyon walls, bringing dark, bold red into a world of dusty orange and black. One could stretch out and look at this sunrise and feel fulfilled inside. In fact, one person was doing just that, crouching upon a gray, concrete roof lit only by a soft, eerie green glow. "GRIFF! GET YOUR GOOD-FOR-NOTHIN' HIDE DOWN HERE AND WASH MY WARTHOG!" "I'M ON GUARD DUTY!" "NO, YOU'RE NOT! QUIT LOOKING AT THE DAMN SKY AND MAKE YOURSELF USEFUL!" Up to the roof climbed another figure. Both were clad in full-body armor - stormtrooper-like, save for the biker-style helmet and actual coloring. The one watching the sunrise, wearing yellow, stood and tried to make his case. "Sarge, what if the blue guys start some sort of aerial assault? If we didn't -" "Griff, I know it's hard on you," said the man walking up in the deep-red armor. "I know your feeble gray matter hasn't done this sort of thing... well, ever. But, please try and THINK - have we seen, at any point in our time out here, anything that REMOTELY looks like an aerial threat?" "Well...no, but they could - what the...?" "So stop staring at the sky, get down there, and wash my damn warthog." "Wait, Sarge...I just saw a 'ting'." "You saw a 'ting.'" "Yes...wait...uh, Sarge, you may want to look behind you." Sarge did not seem impressed. "Griff, you're pissing me off now." "But, Sarge, there's a large object coming out of the sky -" "Shut up and get DOWN THERE -" "HEY, GRIFF!" shouted a voice from inside the bunker. "I'M TRYING TO LISTEN TO THIS MOVIE ON MY COMPUTER! I CAN'T HEAR THE DIALOGUE OVER THE SHOUTING!" "YOU MEAN PORN," Griff shouted back. "SO? I'D LIKE TO WATCH MY STUFF IN PEACE AND PRIVACY. I'M NOT FEELING EITHER RIGHT NOW." "LOOK - oh, shit, it's coming this way -" Griff leapt down from the roof and ran for cover. Sarge finally turned around, to see the "ting" and its fire trail making a beeline for the building he was standing on. Sarge decided to follow Griff off of the roof. Inside the base, by the computer, a man clad in darker-red armor sighed and double-clicked on a movie clip. Seconds later, the computer's tower was hit by a nasty explosion. ____________________________________________ Operation Sleeping Beauty Chapter 1: Once Upon a Time Anomaly A Red vs. Blue/I Love Bees fanfiction Written by: Nicholas Eckert, the vidstudent Dedicated to: a Sleeping Princess Disclaimer: The following people own rights to things used here that I have not expressly requested permission to use: Microsoft and Bungie Software (Halo), The Princess Bride (The Princess Bride Limited; no, I did *not* make that copyright up), and Rooster Teeth (Red vs. Blue). Some use here is parodical, but probably not enough. Much of it is used to get the attention of an unknown entity, and will be sufficiently shameless in this purpose. Lawsuits may be directed to the nearest bankruptcy court - cease-and-desist will be taken under consideration if requested. Don't bother asking for money; if I had some, it'd be from writing something *original*. ____________________________________________ "...well, that looks like it sucked." Griff looked at the mess of wires and smoke on one side of the room, and his buddy in the darker red armor, Simmons, on the other side shaking cobwebs loose. Another, pinker, armor ran into the room to see what was going on, as well. "Whoa...cool!" said the pinker armor. "Shut up, Donut," said Simmons, cracking his neck. "Well, there goes my download collect-" Simmons paused to look at the computer. Surprisingly, it was still on and seemed to be working. Griff looked at the computer, and noticed the same thing. He moved the mouse. It moved on the screen. He clicked on the start menu, followed by the games menu, and opened Minesweeper. It started right up. He sat down and started playing. "What the sam hill happened?" asked Sarge, entering and coughing at all the dust stirred up. "The computer's running," said Simmons, "...with a huge chunk of... something...impaling the hard drive." "No mines...no mines...." "Is that a circuitboard?" Donut looked at the hunk of steel now embedded in the computer case. "Whoa...what a cool meteroite!" "No mines...*damn*. Ah, well, time to check my hotmail...." Griff double- clicked on the familiar blue "e." The home page that came up should have been for UNSC Online. What showed up was a website for what appeared to be a mom-and-pop honey operation. Worse, it didn't seem to have interstellar delivery. It also had every single picture distorted, several messages overlapping each other, and a buzzing WAV file playing in the background. Griff simply typed "http://www.hotmail.com" into the bar at the top, hit the enter key, and...saw the same site as before reload itself. "What the hell?" Sarge stepped to look at the mess. "Figures. Something had to break in that. It's easily fixed, though." Sarge waved Griff back, pulled out his assault rifle, aimed at the tower, and let loose an eight-round burst. The computer remained unfazed. "All right, I guess this thing wants to play dirty. Where's Lopez?" "He's still with the Blue's tank preparing to rebel against us," said Simmons. "Well, that sure helps us," said Sarge, the sarcasm in full force. He stepped back, then ran forward and kicked the circuit board. As he began to hop around the room in pain as a result, a camera in the room zoomed in unnoticed on the scene. "I don't think that's helping, Sarge," said Griff. "Wait, what the...Look!" A text window suddenly appeared on the screen. Lime green text appeared upon the white background of the window, causing Simmons to rub his eyes and squint for a second. The text said, "problem quite interesting time of need I wanted to say that I'm using it some of the messages be some kind of cry for help" - which itself was worth a couple of stares. "Did that computer just write a text file by itself?" asked Simmons. "It shouldn't," said Sarge. "The only things that had AI's were the Warthog and Lopez." "Well, I'd say that's what's in there." Simmons looked at the message closer. "...What the hell does that mean, anyway?" He grabbed the mouse from Griff (ignoring Griff's protests) and looked at his files. The documents were still there, along with his videos and MP3's. Then, he checked his e-mail folder, which was surprisingly empty. Surprisingly, because he had about eighty or so read e-mails clogging up his inbox at last check. "MY E-MAILS! THAT SON OF A BITCH!" Donut chose that moment to speak up. "Maybe, when it meant messages, it meant the e-mail." "It didn't have to delete them!" Simmons opened another window and opened up another web-based e-mail account. "To, myself...Dear entity messing with my e-mail: LEAVE THE FUCK ALONE. Oh, and I want my messages back, and the sooner you leave my computer, the better. Sincerely, Simmons." He hit send. He then went to the original window and refreshed the panel. Nothing appeared. He waited five minutes, then refreshed again, with the same results. Then, on the screen, a chat window opened. "Hi! Sorry I can't leave. I don't know how I got here, really." A solid minute of blank stares followed. "Whoa," Donut finally said, a la Keanu Reeves. "Can we answer back?" "Uh...yeah, I think so," said Simmons just before Donut nearly shoved him from the chair and started typing. "Hi. Who are you?" "...not sure...I'm a Sleeping Princess deep in a crypt in the deepest dungeon of the Queen's castle...." "Wooooow. A sleeping princess...cool...." Donut continued typing. "How'd you end up in the crypt?" "The Queen put me there...if she finds out I've escaped, she'll put me back. But I won't let her put me back." Simmons shoved the rookie out of the chair. "Is it you or this Queen who's messing with the computer and my e-mail?" "The Queen's the one controlling the computer, but someone's controlling her. She got messed up when we ended up here, and then a Pious Flea took over. He is a slick little pervert, kinda like Mr. Simmons I think." "HEY!" shouted Simmons. "So what kind of e-mail have *you* been sending out, Simmons?" asked Griff, an obvious smirk hidden beneath his helmet's faceplate. "Shut up," said Simmons, who continued typing. "Is there anything we can do to get you two out of there?" "I don't know. I'm lonely here. Can you help?" "How can we help when we can't get you out of there?" typed Simmons. "Here, let me try again," said Sarge, running up to the computer tower and kicking at the embedded circuit board again. "Ooh! Ooh!" Donut was jumping up and down. "Maybe...maybe we can tell her a story!" "Now, Donut," said Sarge, also bouncing up and down (though, in his case, due to a sudden, sharp pain in his right toe), "how would a story help any?" "I vote we simply get another computer," offered Simmons. "But...but...it's a special A.I.! It likes to talk to people, and it's a Princess, and Princesses like stories!" Donut was clearly reaching. "Hey, that's right!" noted Griff. "She's clearly an A.I. from the future. If we tell her some stories, she might tell *us* some stories...say, stories about our new campaign coming up...?" "Well, now..." Sarge thought for a second. "I guess it couldn't hurt to humor the lady. Does anyone here know any good bedtime stories?" "Ooh! Ooh!" It was Donut...again. "I have a good one!" He left and came back before anyone realized he had left. "Here!" He handed Sarge a DVD. "'The Princess Bride'...Donut, what *is* this?" Sarge was once again found himself wondering exactly how well that pink armor fit his new recruit. "Hey, it's not just a girly fairy tale." Pause. "No, really, it's got swordfights and humor and stuff!" Another pause. "Come on...." "Eh, it'll work," said Sarge. "We're going to have to transcribe it for her, though - the circuit board...thingy...went right through the DVD drive. "Does the voice recognition software still work?" asked Griff. "That's brilliant, Simmons," said Sarge. "But, Sarge, I thought of that," said Griff. "You couldn't have, Griff." Sarge was dismissive. "That was actually a good idea." Griff sighed. He was used to this. Simmons activated the voice recognition program, while Donut popped the DVD in the nearby DVD player and cued up the first story scene. "Ready?" asked Donut. "Ready," said Simmons, as the words appeared on the screen. "Ready...what for?" asked the Princess. "We figured we'd tell you a story. Sit back and relax." So saying, he cued over to Donut, who hit the selection button. Buttercup was raised on a small farm in the country of Floren. Her favorite pastimes were riding horses and tormenting the farmboy that worked there. His name was Wesley, but she never called him that. She was a bitch. "Uh, Simmons...." Donut raised a hand, wishing to object. "I'm telling the story. Where were we...?" Nothing gave Buttercup as much pleasure as bossing Wesley around. "Farmboy, polish my horse's saddle. I want to see my face shining in it by morning." "As you wish," said Wesley. "As you wish" was all he ever said to her. Boy, is he hopeless. Another day: "Farmboy, fill these with water...please?" asked Buttercup. "As you wish," said Wesley, hoping she would ask him to tie her up. It wouldn't happen, but dreaming doesn't hurt anyone, I guess. It was about then that she got the hint...kinda. She translated it as, "I love you," which is a good start. She also figured out she loved him back. She saw him later, right outside her door, clad in furry robed. "Farmboy...fetch me that pitcher...?" she said, whilst looking at the pitcher right beside her. Wesley walked in, grabbed the pitcher from its hanging spot, gazed into her eyes, and, with one more "As you wish," they went horizontal. The end. "No, it's not!" shouted Donut. "It is for me," said Simmons. "Blech, this is mushy. You do this, Donut." "Really?" Donut was pulling the headset off of Simmons' head halfway through the word. "Uh, hello, Princess...ready for more of the story? "Uh, yeah, sure...." appeared on the screen. "All righty then.... Actually, they just kissed. Unfortunately, Wesley had no money for marriage, poor guy...so, he packed what few belongings he had and set sail across the sea. It was a very emotional time for Buttercup. "I fear I shall never see you again." *sniff* "Of course you will," said Wesley. "But what if something happens to you?" asked Buttercup. Wesley pulled Buttercup to face her. "Hear this now. I will always come for you." "How can you be sure?" asked Buttercup. "This is true love," answered Wesley. "You think this happens every day?" A smile widened over Buttercup's face, despite the tears in her eyes. She kissed him twice, quickly, and he left. But his ship didn't reach its destination. Along the way, pirates attacked, led by the dread pirate Roberts, who never left captives alive. When Buttercup heard the news, she locked herself in her room. For days she neither slept nor ate. "Stop crying, Donut, it's just a story, and you're getting tears all over my microphone." "I...*sniff*...okay, I'm better now." Donut continued. Five years later, the town square of Floren was filled as never before, to hear the announcement of the Great Prince Humperdink's bride-to-be. "Humperdink?" said Sarge. "What kind of a dumb name is Humperdink? GRIFF! Did you come up with this name?" "Uh, no, Sarge," said Griff. "You sure? It sounds about as dumb as Puma. That makes it right up your alley." "No, Sarge, it wasn't my idea." Griff hated how Sarge brought up the Puma every single chance he got. "Uh, it's not really my place, but could you two let me continue?" "Yeah, yeah, continue talking about Prince Hump Her Dink." "Hey!" Donut turned around. "He may be the bad guy, but that's not nice!" "Who's the bad guy?" said the chat window. "Continue! Continue! If it is not over, I don't see why you won't begin!" "Oh, sorry...." The trumpets sounded as the prince took his place, surveying the crowd below him. "My people," he said in a haughty voice, "a month from now, our country shall have its five hundreth anniversary. That sundown, I shall marry a lady who was once a commoner like yourselves. But perhaps, you will not find her common, now. "Would you like to meet her?" The crowd replied, "YES!" in unison. "My people," said Prince Humperdink, extending his hand forward, "the Princess...Buttercup!" The trumpets sounded, and Buttercup slowly, uneasily walked out to meet the people, who themselves uneasily knelt down before her. There was a lot of unease to go around, really. It's kinda like men hugging. Anyway, Buttercup's emptiness consumed her. Though the law of the land let Humperdink choose his bride, she did not love him. Despite Prince Humperdink's assurance that she would grow to love him, the only cure she found was in her daily ride. One such day, she entered the forest, red gown flowing about her, when she came across a trio of travelers. "A word, my lady?" asked the short, balding member of the group. "We are but poor, lost circus performers. Is there a village nearby?" "There is nothing nearby," answered Buttercup, "not for miles." The largest of the three, shoddily dressed (though it was amazing that any clothes were available that might actually fit one of his height and breadth), stepped forward. "ANDRE THE GIANT! All right! Now we're getting some-" "Shut *up*, Griff," said Simmons through his teeth, trying not to interrupt Donut's transcription effort. "But, everything's better with wrestling!" "No, Griff, it isn't. Just shut up." "Then there will be no one to hear you scream," said the short, balding one. Buttercup began to let out a cry, but the giant choked it off, and she fainted thereupon. The three took the girl and her horse to a boat near a river. While his two companions loaded the girl aboard the boat and prepared to sail, the balding one stood by the horse, ripping a gold-embroidered white patch from a red garment. "What is that you're ripping?" asked the third companion, a Spaniard, by any judge of his accent, with shoulder-length, rippled black hair and a moustache. "It's fabric from the uniform of an Army officer of Gilder," replied the balding man. "Who's Gilder?" drawled the giant in a barely intelligible voice. "The country across the river! The sworn enemy of Floren!" The balding man was easily irritated...kinda like someone I've met before.... Across the canyon, another group of soldiers was relaxing. Or, to be precise, a soldier was relaxing, along with a ghost or two, with one man watching out over the hilly expanse. "Anything going on up there, Caboose?" said the relaxing soldier, in a light blue armor (with a hint of green) similar to that found at the base across the canyon. "Nothing I can see," answered the soldier in dark blue armor, gazing at the hilly expanse...or, rather, the rocky expanse. "Hey, nutjob, check the other direction!" called out one of the ghosts. "Uh, which other direction?" asked Caboose. "Caboose. Do you know what a one-eighty is?" "Uh, yeah, I think so...that's behind me, right?" "Yeah. Try doing one, then look." "Okay...." The ghost let off a sigh. His fellow ghost, a shade of black, simply shook her head. "He's not the brightest bulb in the lamp, is he?" "I'd be surprised if he could light a box enough to see inside," said the white ghost. "Eh, cut him some slack, Church," said the greenish-blue soldier. "He's dumb as rocks, I'll admit, but he's still recovering from that hostile takeover of his body and all." "Oh, I'll give him slack, Tucker. It's not like I can smack him around right now, anyway." "Ooh! Ooh! I seeeee sooomethiing...." drawled Caboose, as if he knew what was going on. "Whaat dooo yoooou seeee, damnit?" mimicked Church. "I seeee a biiiig gray thing - like we're on - faaaar off in the distance." Church was seething. "Can you see anything going on in or around the building?" "They're making smoke signals. ...that must be fun. I should try -" "Gimme that," said Tucker, smacking the rookie on the back of the head and picking up the sniper rifle dropped as a result. "So, Tucker, what's going on?" "It looks like their bunker's on fire...." "...what?" "Seriously. There's smoke coming out of the bunker. ...we may want to check this out." "Good point. Tex," - at this point, the ghost known as Church turned to the other ghost - "since we're the invisible people around here, we should probably do the recon." "Sounds good to me," said Tex, in a low, yet feminine voice. Meanwhile, back on the other side of the gulch, Donut continued telling the story. "We'll reach the cliffs by dawn," said the scrawny little man. He looked up from his seat on the stool upon the main deck of the small boat. His partner in crime, the Spaniard, was looking out carefully from the stern toward the dark horizon. "Why are you doing that?" asked the little man. "Making sure nobody is following us," answered the Spaniard. "That would be inconcievable," answered the little man. "Despite what you think," remarked Buttercup, sitting serenly in the boat, "you will be caught. And when you are, the Prince will see you all hanged." "Of all the necks on this boat, Highness," snapped back the little man, "the one you should be worrying about is your own." He looked back up at the Spaniard, who continued to look out over the boat's wake. "Stop doing that! We can all relax, it's almost over." "Are you sure nobody is following us?" asked the Spaniard. "As I told you, it would be absolutely, totally, and in all other ways inconceivable!" The little man emphasized the point with wild hand gestures. "No one in Gilder knows what we've done, and no one in Floren could've gotten here so fast!" He laid his balding head back upon the ship's bulkhead, then looked over again. "Out of curiosity, why do you ask?" "It's only, I just happened to look behind us, and somebody is there." "WHAT?" The bald man shot right out of his chair (kinda like when I hear Sarge calling for me for warthog duty - the warthog's one cool vehicle) and rushed straight up to the bow of the ship alongside the Spaniard. He looked out across the waters, and 1o! (I always wanted to use that word, "lo!") There, plainly in view, was the yellow of a ship's sail. "Probably just a fisherman out for a pleasure cruise at night through... eel-infested waters...." He didn't really like how that sounded, I think. He then heard a splash, as the Princess took advantage of the moment to try and make a break for it. I think he liked that less. The bald man immediately turned to the Spaniard. "G-go in! Get after her!" "I don't swim," said the Spaniard. The bald man glanced at the giant. "I only dog-paddle," said the giant. "GAAAAAAAHHHH!" It could be just me, but I think the bald man was really, really unhappy at this point. "VEER LEFT!" he commanded his crew. Meanwhile, the Princess continued to swim away as best as she could. Her riding cloak wasn't really the best swimming attire. "LEFT! LEFT!" called out the bald man, and the giant pointed out towards the struggling Buttercup in the water, as a loud, low "SKREEEEEEEE!" further disrupted the stillness of the night. "Ooh, I love this suspense music," said Donut. "I think you're getting too much into this," remarked Simmons. "Can I try?" asked Griff, walking over from the DVD player. "...I guess," Sarge replied. "What harm could it do - no, wait, forget I said that." He paused to think. "Okay, go ahead. Just don't screw up." Griff took the headset from Donut and sat down while Donut went back over and unpaused the DVD again. More screeches happened. They got louder and louder and louder. The old guy leaned over and said, "Do you know what sound that is, Highness? Those are the shrieking eels. If you don't believe me, just wait - they always grow louder when they're about to feed on human flesh!" Buttercup looked around, as the water started splashing around her. And it wasn't exactly because of her, either. "You sound funny," appeared on the screen in green lettering. Griff continued, undeterred. More screeching and splashing happened. The old guy spoke again. "If you come back now, I promise: No harm will come to you. I doubt you'll get such an offer from the eels." Buttercup started looking frantically. Then, this long, big water snake with a whole bunch of teeth and no fangs starts jumping out at her - once, then twice, then - give me a second, this really old grandpa's taking his time - okay, then, the old guy says, "If you come back now -" "I think you read that part already," popped up on the screen. "Griff, you're disappointing me," said Sarge. "Not that I had high expectations to begin with, mind you." "Well, if this movie didn't backtrack, I wouldn't backtrack!" "Save your excuses and get on with it," said Sarge. "You're a Boy of Very Little Brain, aren't you?" typed the Sleeping Princess. ...anyway, the eels got louder and closer until, just as it was going to bite, it stops and drops back into the water (no rolling, though) and the Giant picks her up and pulls her into the boat. "Put her down - just put her down!" said the old man, and all seemed better. Well, almost, as the Spanish guy with the trippy hair was still looking out at that boat in the water. "I think he's getting closer," said the Spanish guy. "He's no concern of ours! Sail on!" said the old guy. Then, he looked at the princess and said, "I suppose you think you're brave, don't you?" "Only compared to some," she said. Then, the scene switched to morning. The Spanish guy spoke. "Look! He's right on top of us! ...I wonder if he is using the same wind that we are using?" Man, that accent's hard to transcribe! "Hola! Te llamo...Princesa Durmiente!" "...huh?" Griff stared at the screen. "I'm good with languages." "Griff, just get away from there." Sarge yanked the headset off of Griff and donned it himself. "I'll do this. Good afternoon, Princess." "Buenos tardes!" Sarge cleared his throat. "Now, where were we...." "Whoever he is, he's too late! See?" The annoying bald guy pointed out towards a set of cliffs. "The Cliffs of Insanity!" he called them. He ran towards his crew to give orders. "Move the...thing! And...that other thing!" ...I've done that before. Can't say I take pride in those type of orders. "MOVE IT!" he screamed. The ships approached the cliffs slowly - boats moving by wind power... well, they really suck for speed. Finally, the ship with the Princess entered. "We're safe," said the bald guy. "Only Fezzig is strong enough to go up our way. He'll have to sail around for hours until he finds a harbor." The giant, apparently the guy they call Fezzik, grabbed hold of a rope conveniently dangling from the cliff face. The other two men strapped Buttercup firmly to Fezzik, grabbed a secure hold themselves, and let the big man do his work. Up the tall cliff by rope the party went. About halfway up, the Spaniard looked down. "He's climbing the rope," noted the Spaniard, "and he's gaining on us." The bald man looked down at a man clad all in black cloth, climbing the same rope. "Inconceivable," remarked the bald man. Whether he meant the fact that they were being caught up to or that the rope wasn't breaking from holding five people, one of them rather large, I wouldn't be the one to know. "Faster!" yelled the bald man. "I thought I *was* going faster," said Fezzik. Sounds a lot like Griff there. "You were supposed to be this colossus," said the bald man through gritting teeth. "You were this great, legendary *thing*, and yet he's gained!" "Well, I'm carrying three people," said Fezzik, "and he's just got only himself." Yep, that's Griff all right...the whiner. "I will not accept excuses!" The old guy knows how to handle a whiner. "I guess I'll just have to find myself a new giant, that's all." "Don't say that, Fizzini," said Fezzik. "Please?" Fizzini got in his giant's face. "Did i make it *clear* that your *job* was at stake?" The parties continued to climb. Finally, the giant carried his load to the top. The Spaniard climbed up first, then grabbed the Princess from Fezzik's shoulders to allow him to finish climbing. The man in black continued his ascent, ever gaining on the evildoers. Next, the Spaniard lifted up the short, bald Fizzini, who immediately ran up to the rope, pulled out a dagger, and began to cut away as the giant pulled himself up. Three strands, two strands, and then - snap! The rope tumbled off the rock ledge. Outside, two ghosts slid unnoticed up to the rooftop of the bunker. "Man, whatever hit this place reeks!" "Shh! They might hear us!" "We're ghosts, Tex. They're not going to hear us unless we possess them." "Still, shh." Tex peered into the hole on top of the bunker. "They appear to be...one's watching a DVD, and the other's talking into a headset next to the Blood Gulch net server - what the...?" "What do you see, Tex?" "Church, there's...there's some sort of meteorite...circuit board...something stuck in the server tower!" "How's it still running, then?" "I don't know...." "We're going to have to investigate this further...and that means we're going to need the living guys." Back at the other bunker, one of the "living guys" looked at the "Countdown to Caboose's Birthday!" set up on the same server. Suddenly, he blinked, and the title changed - Countdown to Wide Awake and Physical. Yes, I said, "the same server." Welcome to Blood Gulch. --------------------------------------- Well, I just got this done in time - I hope. Depends on if you check your e-mail before you leave, Melissa. We're going to miss you. You'll have to wait until you get back to 2552 for further parts, I'm afraid. Just look me up as author. Thanks for the fun times. SGT Eckert, Nicholas A. vidstudent COMM PLT H&S 1/24 USMCR Unemployed? In *Greenland*?" "I'd go to Greenland -" "Shut up, Griff!" "But, it sounds so...green...." "Griff, Greenland is north of Canada. It is not green." "It's also not here." Sarge looked over at Griff. "Griff...am I still here?" Griff thought for a second. "I...guess you are...." "Then you're still here." "Well, yeah, but -" "And until I leave, you will not leave.