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Misc. things
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Top 10 Rejection Lines Given By Women>(and what they actually mean)
10. I think of you as a brother.
(You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in "Deliverance.")
9. There's a slight difference in our ages. (I don't want to do my dad.)
8. I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way. (You are the ugliest dork I've ever laid eyes on.)
7. My life is too complicated right now.
(I don't want you spending the whole night or else you may hear phone>calls
from all the other guys I'm seeing.)
6. I've got a boyfriend.
(I prefer my male cat and a half gallon of Ben and Jerry's.)
5. I don't date men where I work.
(I wouldn't date you if you were in the same 'solar system', much less the
same building.)
4. It's not you, it's me. (It's you.)
3. I'm concentrating on my career.
(Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job is better than dating you.)
2. I'm celibate. (I've sworn off only the men like you.)
1. Let's be friends.
(I want you to stay around so I can tell you in excruciating detail about
all the other men I meet . It's the male perspective thing.)
In response...The male perspective on the same issue...
Top 10 rejection lines given by Men
(and what they actually mean...)
10. I think of you as a sister. (You're ugly.)
9. There's a slight difference in our ages. (You're ugly.)
8. I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way. (You're ugly.)
7. My life is too complicated right now. (You're ugly.)
6. I've got a girlfriend.
(You're ugly.)
5. I don't date women where I work.
(You're ugly.)
4. It's not you, it's me.
(You're ugly.)
3. I'm concentrating on my career. (You're ugly.)
2. I'm celibate.
(You're ugly.)
1. Let's be friends.
(You're sinfully ugly.)
Top Ten Things Guys Like About Girls:
1) The way they smile.
2) How they always smell so good.
3) How they laugh.
4) The way they take so long to get ready.
5) The way they dress.
6) How they put their make up on.
7) The way they say,"I love you."
8) How their little hands fit perfectly in the guys hands.
9) How guys can put their arms all the way around her waist.
10) Their sweet personality.
Top Ten Things Girls Like About Guys:
1) The way they try to act so tough.
2) How they write girls letters.
3) The way they smell.
4) How they feel so safe in their arms.
5) When they aren't afraid to admit things.
6) The way they say,"I love you."
7) The way they go shoping with you.
8) When they call you to make you feel better.
9) When they bring you something when your feeling down.
10) How they always seem to want to love you.
Did you ever stop to wonder what would happen if your dog's name was Mypenis?
- Mypenis ate my homework.
- Oh, no! Mypenis is frothing at the mouth!
- Sorry I'm late. I was playing with Mypenis.
- I'm sorry, Officer. I didn't realize I had to keep Mypenis on a leash.
-Mypenis doesn't come when I call it.
- Mypenis likes to crawl between the legs of guests.
- I love giving Mypenis a bath.
- At night, I sleep with Mypenis in my hands.
- Mypenis likes it when people pet him.
- Mypenis needs to get more exercise. He weighs over fifty pounds!
- Playing with Mypenis really wears me out.
- Would you like to see a picture of Mypenis?
- Sometimes I wake up, and Mypenis is already active.
- I think Mypenis has a mind of its own.
- I keep a picture of Mypenis in my wallet.
- Whenever I get lost, Mypenis points me in the right direction.
- I think Mypenis is getting old because he won't get excited
anymore. He just plays dead.
- Mypenis got out last night. I think he's sleeping with the lady
next door.
- If Mypenis was a weinerdog, he would be long and hairy and hard to
carry.
- Mypenis loves to chase pussies in dark alleys.
- Help! I can't find Mypenis!
- Sorry to be driving so slow, officer, but I was looking for Mypenis.
- Mypenis gets excited whenever the mailman comes.
- Sorry to be driving so fast, officer I have to take Mypenis to
the hospital.
- Oh. no! Something bit Mypenis!
HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN:
Compliment her
cuddle her
kiss her
caress her
love her
stroke her
tease her
comfort her
protect her
hug her
hold her
spend money on her
wine & dine her
buy things for her
listen to her
care for her
stand by her
support her
go to the ends of the earth for her....
HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN:
Show up naked.
Bring beer.
Here are 41 fUnNy PicK uP liNEs:
1. Hey baby, why don't you sit on my lap, and we'll talk about the
first thing that POPS up!!!
2. (motion for girl to come here with one finger), "If I can make you
come with this finger, imagine what I could do with all five!"
3. Nice shoes, wanna fuck?
4. If I told you that you had a nicebody, would you hold it against me?
5. Fuck me if I'm wrong....but haven't we met before?
6. Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I?
7. I wanna use your thighs as earmuffs.
8. Are those real?
9. I may not be Fred Flintstone but I sure can make your bed rock.
10. (offer guy/girl a screw) wanna screw?
11. Ya know, that shirt is very becoming on you......of course, if I
was on you, I'd be cumming too.
12. The word of the day is LEGS, so let's go to my house and spread
the word.
13. The only place I want to go is south of the border.
14. Hey you want to know what I heard about you? Fuck me and I'll
tell you.
15. Why don't you come over and we can do math in the bed; add the
bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and I'll multiply.
16. What's a nice girl like you doing on a face like this?
17. Nice dress, can I talk you out of it?
18. Mmmmmmm, you bring new meaning to the word "edible"
19. So, do you want to see something really swell?
20. Excuse me but is your last name "Gillette"......cause you are
the best a man can get!
21. Hey baby.....can you suck a golf ball through 50 feet of garden
hose?
22. My shirt's chaffing me.....
23. Excuse me miss, do you give head to strangers? (No) Well, then,
allow me to introduce myself.
24. They call me Milk, because I do your body good.
25. I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?
26. Hey baby, wanna wrestle.
27. Hi, do you want to have children? (assuming the answer is no) Ok
then, can we just practice?
28. You must be the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy.
29. I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been
drinking?
30. They say the best things in life are free.... they lied( but I
do accept American Express)
31. This Valentines Day, I really want you to know how I feel.....So
you better use both hands.
32. You can feel the magic between us......No, lower!
33. You're on my mind this Valentine's Day.....I'd prefer you on mybed.
34. This Valentine's Day I want you to know that I'm head-over-heels
for you....and I know some other positions too.
35. I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even
farther for that thing you do with your tongue.
36. You have 250 bones in your body, want another?
37. If you were the last woman and I was the last man on earth, I
bet we could do it in public.
38. Hey baby, can i tickle your belly from the inside?
39. Wanna play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the hell outtame.
40. Girl, if you were a porch I'd take out all the nails and screw ya.
41. Yo baby, I bust more nuts than a squirrel.
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Some famous quotes
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"If you choose not to decide, then you still have made a choice."
--I heard it in a song (if you know what song it's from then e-mail me).--
"The escence of nothing does not exist, because nothing is escentually something yet something can never be nothing thereby eleminating the escence of nothing and if you think about it anything which is nothing therefore becomes something"
--Me and Cory--
"Eat me, beat me, bite me, blow me...do me, screw me, f*** me slowly...if you want to kiss me don't be hasty, stick it in and make it tasty...sex is evil and evil is sin, sin is forgiven so sex is in"
--Haley--
"goodjob", "I love John"
--April--
"I CAN FLY!!!!!"
"The musical little creatures that hide among the flowers" x5
--April and Haley--
"...like a bitch"
--Susan--
"One who talks much, thinks little"
--Mr.Farwell--
"I slam in the back of my Dragula *wink *wink"
--Rob Zombie--
" *cough* *cough*...Pass the bong, lol"
--Cody--
"Royalty shouldn't have to do this"
--Miki--
"What's up dogs"
--Amanda W.--
"I'm feeling like a freak on a leash"
--KoRn--
"God hates me..."
--KoRn--
"I got high and shot my friend"
--the real meaning of all rap songs--
If you have a quote that you want to add then just e-mail me write your quote and leave me your name.
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Spiffy sayings
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Here are some sayings that I have heard around:
"Lifes like a b**** just f*** it"
"play em like a deck of cards, as long as u have a good hand u cant lose"
"if life aint a game, then y r there so many players in this world?"
"u cannot sedate all the things u hate"
"lead, follow, or get out of the way"
"u can run but u cant hide"
"i have pms and a fist, stay outta my way"
"some have brains, some have beauty, fortunately i have both"
"what u dont know cant hurt u"
"why ya send a card that says get well soon? as if theyre plannin on
gettin well over the next 10 years!"
"candy is dandy but sex wont rot ur teeth"
"why drink and drive when u can smoke and fly?"
"every man dies but not every man really lives"
"the difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits"
"theres no such thing as a dumb question, there is however, such a
thing as a dumb answer"
"what goes up must come down"
"stoners live and stoners die but in the end we all get high, so if
in life u dont succeed, f*** it all and smoke some weed"
If you have a kewl saying that you wnat to be put on here then e-mail it to me.
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